Sunday, March 23, 2008

 

General Hospital: the most somber show on television

Things I used to really like about General Hospital:

1. Good Girls. General Hospital would have these female characters that were "good." You know nice and kind and easy to get along with. And all the other characters would like them. And they would have plot lines like they would fall in and out of love and sometimes they would get sick and lots of people would come in and wish them well. These were characters like Emily and Georgie and for a while, Elizabeth. And the ultimate good girl, Lila, who would just sit in her wheelchair and have lovely conversations with people about how much she loved them. The show also had more vindictive, sometimes good female characters (Carly, Sam) and downright evil women characters (Helena) but I always liked that there were good girls that I could always root for and who could order other characters to get along or for whose sake other characters would put aside their differences. Most the characters, especially the females, plot and scheme and hate each other. The good girls added a sweetness to the show and often a lightheartedness. It was comforting to take a break and hang out with these characters. Now most tv shows can't afford to have these purely good characters because these shows simply do not have a sufficiently large number of characters. If a show only has handfull of characters, you can't waste one by making the character saintly. And if you do, it gets really boring. See Dawson's Creek the College Years (ruining Joey by making her unbearably good).

2. Lots of romantic relationships. I am a big fan of the romantic comedy. Boy and girl meet, boy and girl not sure of each other, stuff happens, boy and girl fall in love. The thing you can count on in General Hospital is that somewhere among the the 20 storylines, there is always one story about two people falling in love. This is different from prime time shows in which there is one, maybe two, central romances. The writers have to keep the romantic tension going for seasons, to the point where tv watchers start to get sick of it or forget it exists. See Josh and Donna on the West Wing (I think by season 3 I just wanted them to move on). Or the writers give into the tension and then have to figure out how to make the romance remain interesting or break the couple up. See Luke and Lorelai on Gilmore Girls (Luke's long lost daughter). But on General Hospital, there are so many potential couples, this is a nonissue. I mean they still have the problem of having to break a couple up soon after getting them together, which can be annoying, but there is never the problem of no romance on the show, because somewhere there is always a budding romance.

3. Families and long histories. I love that the number of characters on the show allow for long extended histories and nice big families. Having 4 generations of family on a show is like a great epic novel. And there is so much history. Lucky's father hated Nichola's father but they are brothers and the best of friends. Characters have known each other for years and so they can have true love/hate relationships. Friendships seem real since you have seen characters go through so much. And if you were so inclined, you could watch an episode from 30 years ago and be fascinated by what the old characters looked like when they were young. They can reference history. It gives a sense that there is a really community there.

Of late, General Hospital has kicked off its good girl characters. Both Emily and Georgie were murdered by the text message killer. Elizabeth is less good. She has developed an enemy in Sam and perhaps ran her over, and is now blackmailing her. Lila is of-course long gone since the actress died. The only good girl character left is Robin Scorpio, and I heart scenes with her but that is simply not enough. They have also slowly gotten rid of Quartermaine characters. The Quartermaines were like the ultimate GH family. Instead they brought in a new gangster family that we know nothing about.

That is actually the worst part. The show is now about the mob. I think that once upon a time it used to be a show about a hospital but for the decade or so that I have been following the show, it was a soap about a bunch of people with some wierd mob elements. But now, the mob is all it is about. They brought back Jerry Jax as this wierd evil mob boss. And as mentioned above, brought in three new random and one not entirely random mob characters. And nearly every remaining major character seems to be somehow connected to this mob war, which is the central plot of the show. And the mob storyline is so dark. I think what really threw me over the edge was Sonny, who I have never liked but is supposed to be one of the main characters, actually more or less tortured and threatened to torture another character for kidnapping his son, except we all knew the character never kidnapped his son. Also, the serial killer story line ended with a long stretch of Diego basically torturing women. And Jerry Jax had a character murdered while he was on the phone with his mother! There is just no saving grace here. I guess there is some budding romance somewhere in there. But even that seems kind of dark. Maxie and Spinelli trying to find Georgie's killer together.

General Hospital has always been shitty television but it used to provide me with something that other shows did not. Lots of silly love storylines, pointless uninteresting characters I could love, and connections and family trees that appealed to my love of putting pieces together or mapping or something. And I thought the show did this because it was immune from the needs of other tv shows. But it is like somewhere along the way they decided that violent mob shows is what sells and also that killing off lots and lots of characters sells. And they decided to be a very shitty Sopranoes. ( I have never seen the Sopranoes but I think that is what they were emulating). And this decision is the lamest thing ever

Saturday, March 01, 2008

 

America's Next Top Model Cycle 10

The 35 girls are flown to LA or wherever and then Ms. Jay and Mr. Jay walk out and all the girls start screaming, and it is like it is the 60s and they are seeing the Beatles for the first time. And I am watching and thinking: "you know, they are not that exciting or cool or even famous." But there the women are, screaming, and my god, you should have seen the orgasmic excitement when Tyra Banks walks in, and it is so strange, but Tyra has built this universe in which the goal is being fierce and the most exciting people in the world are the Jays. It reminds me of boys and things that I have never been into, like dungeons and dragons or something, where there are these universes that are created and these universes establish what is important and what is not. And ANTM is Tyra universe.

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