Fumarama

One of the ways I know that I really love a movie is if about halfway through I find myself enjoying myself so much that I think "man, I wish this movie would never end." (Movies this has happened with are the ones that pretentious people would scoff at like Shakespeare in Love and Chocolat). Anyway, I saw three movies this weekend and at no point did I have that emotion. Not good.

The Constant Gardener -- eh. I was really looking forward to it. It just was not the thriller I expected. I really like that they actually filmed in Kenya though.

Hustle and Flow. found it boring.

Capote. Capote was actually quite good. Possibly the best of the 5 movies nominated for the Oscar. There is a point toward the end of the movie where Capote spends about 20 minutes miserable wishing something would just happen so he could finish his book and move on. I spent those same 20 minutes also wishing something would happen. I made this a point of criticism of my movie. But then the person I saw it with pointed out that the movie effectively conveyed what Capote was going through, so it was all very well done after all.

Anyway, I have two movies left, Cinderella Man and North Country. I think i might see North Country (dude, it is about a law suit. I love the law). But just give up on Cinderella Man. I just don't care.

As anyone who knows me, one of the things that bothers me most is that television is considered red headed stepchild of the movies. I am always compelled to show the ways in which television is better.

Anyway, yesterday I wrote about how nice guys on tv turn mean once they get the girl of their dreams. But in some ways, isn't this fact part of the beauty of television? I mean in movies it is easy to root for the nice guy, because as soon as he gets the girl, the movie ends and we can just assume they live happily ever after. Television, unless it happens to be the final episode, forces the writers to tell you what happens next. Does the woman get bored with the guy? or as is often the case, does the guy change for the worse once he has the girl and no longer has to worship her from afar? Television does not let the writers off easy, if they are going to put two characters together, it forces the question: what happens next?

Then again, maybe movies are correct in that what happens next is boring. I mean say they are the perfect couple, then the audience has no interest in seeing thier boring life of being happy and just going about your business as a couple. I mean the problem with television is that by having more episodes, the writers are forced to create more conflicts. They have to make the characters change in order to keep people watching.

So I guess the real question is what is more true to life, that once two people get together, it is not the end of the story cause there are always more problems, or once people settle together, they instantly become boring?

Yes, my title says it all.

They are fighting about whose Apprentice series ruined whose. Seriously. Check it out here.

The part that annoyed me most was this:

Trump, though, is adamant that no one wanted to turn the boardroom tables on him. "What moron would think you'd fire a guy with the No. 1 show on TV," he told NEWSWEEK

He is totally lying. Apprentice IS NOT the #1 show on tv. That honor belongs to American Idol and when the great Idol is not on, CSI. I hate liars.

I saw Mrs. Henderson presents last night and I enjoyed it. I was not expecting to because Manohla Dargis gave it a mostly bad review in the New York Times. (if you have never noticed, Dargis never gives good or bad reviews, she just gives reviews that are mostly good, or mostly bad). Now, it is not that i steal all my opinions from the New York Times, but when it comes to movies that are not bad romantic comedies (which I almost always enjoy), if the Times gives it a bad review, I probably won't like it. (if the Times gives it a good review, i I might still not like it, see Junebug, or if it gives it a so so review, I might still love it: see Walk the Line). Anyway, what I did not realize was that Mrs. Henderson was closer to the romantic comedy genre and so I was bound to enjoy it.

First thing first, I think i have to amend my statement yesterday about the relationship between the performance and the movie. In this case, the performances of Judi Dench and Bob Haskins made the movie. It would have been a totally mediocre movie if the two of them were not so fantastic. (i mean really the plots drags and not much happens) When Dench got nomiminated for an oscar, I was totally annoyed, I mean does she get oscars just for showing up? But really, she deserves as oscar just for showing up. She is funny, and beautiful and charming, and of-course, all in that awesome British that.

Besides that, sure, the movie is a bit heavy handed (very overly sentimental) but so in Crash. And at least Mrs. Henderson Presents has song and dance and boobies and Bob Haskin's penis (at least I think it is his, it might be a double for all I know). Crash just has a lot of people whining and being racist. (that movie has not aged well in my brain).

Anyway, Dargis ends her review with the following statement:

Watching this reasonably funny, professionally assembled calculation is a little like snuggling up in front of the television with a mug of hot cocoa and a warm blanket. Those who prefer their drinks and recreation spiked would do well to look elsewhere.

Well, um, sitting in front of the tv with hot chocolate is among my favorite things in the world. So maybe Dargis' review is completely on target, I am the best simpleton for this movie.

I finally watched the Valentines day episode of Gilmore Girls last nigt and it was really sad. Luke has turned into kind of a dickwad. I mean he pined over Lorelai for years and years and the whole time time he was the sweatest guy to her ever, but now that they are engaged, he won't let her meet his newly found daughter and won't give her a set date for the wedding.

A similar thing occured on Everwood. (i am about to give away Everwood plot points, if you have not watched the show and are planning to catch up on dvd, (you should!) do not read on. Ephram pined over Amy for years and then when they finally dated, first he tried to dump her to play piano and then he dumped her for knowing he had a kid for like a week longer than he did, and finally when they discuss their break up and Amy says she thought they would be together forever, he is really condescending.

I know you technically need three examples to have a full-fledged pattern. But nevertheless, I think this is a tv trend. The nice guy wants the girl for seasons and then when he finally gets her he treats her like crap. This trend really sucks. It makes me sad. It makes me want to root against the nice guy. On tv of-course.

P.S. The article i link to above actually has nothing to do with t.v. but happens to have a throwaway sentence about trends. You should read it, because the article is awesome.

So I remember some review of Junebug (but I can't remember which one, I hate when that happens) saying that the saddest thing about Junebug is that no one will be able to see that gem of a movie. Well, I saw June Bug this weekend, and I could very well have not seen this movie. It is not that i did not like the movie, I liked it well enough. And it is not that the performances were as great as everyone says they were, they totally were. But I don't think I got a thing out of the movie. It was not good in a way that made me feel really happy or that said something about the world that spoke to me. I did not find it particularly interesting. And granted it was good to see that Ben McKenzie could act, but really this is something that annoys me, why does Ben McKenzie have to be in a movie to prove they can act? He does a really believable job on the OC. He is like 28 years old and plays a 17 year old. Plus, he is really good at conveying the guy who always feels like he has to save everyone. Anyway, the point is that the OC should be enough. Thinking otherwise is just tv prejudice.

As for Amy Adams, she is great. But here is the thing about great performances, I cannot really enjoy them unless i am engaged in the context. I feel the same way about a person with a great voice or a great dancer or something, unless there is something more to involve me, some narrative, I simply don't care. Ironically, this seeing all these oscar movies was supposed to give me just such a context (competition) but even so, I am more likely to prefer performances in movies I really like.

I caught a bit of the the Lindsay Lohan Parent Trap yesterday on ABC Family. In the 20 minutes I watched, Dennis Quaid, the "twins" and Quaid's fiance all go camping. But you see, Quaid's fiance is a bitch and she hates everything about camping and hiking. She freaks out at bugs, does not want to eat trout, is wearing some wierd jumpsuit as opposed to plaid, which I suppose is the proper camping attire of the time. By the end of the trip, she freaks out so much that Quaid dumps her.

Well, I have seen this happen a lot in pop culture, the person who hates the great outdoors is vilified. And I am here to tell you, that is just unfair. If anything those of us who prefer concrete are much kinder to nature. You don't think that going into the woods with SUVs and camping gear and not perfectly cleaned up human trash harms the environment? And even worse, if a person is such a nature lover that they leave the city entirely and move into some place with no other humans, then they are really hurting nature, bringing their car there everyday. Me, I am perfectly happy to hang out with my concrete and people, and let the animals and plants have the great outdoors. This is much more of a sharing with my fellow creatures position.

P.S. This post is meant to stick up for those of us who prefer the city. It is not actually meant to insult any outdorsy people. Please don't be offended. But feel free to write comments hurling insults at me. I love comments.

I have been criticized for my desire to see all the Oscar movies, apparently there is something sort of wierd about watching movies just to be checking them off a list. Of-course, that is a misinterpretation of my actions. Don't get me wrong, my plan is a little wierd, but here is the point. There are plenty of beautiful and wonderful movies out there that I want to see but if left to my own devices (without a plan) I would never go see. Being me, and having very low brow taste, I would probably just spend all that money on romantic comedies. But the pop culture loving impulse of the Oscarsis making me broaden my horizons. Thus, I would not have had the chance to see plenty of beautiful and wonderful movies.

Case in point, Transamerica. When it came out, I knew that I would not see but that I would probably like it if i did. But all this Felicity Huffman Oscar buzz sent me to the IFC center last night to check it out. And well, for Huffman's performance....If my standard for good acting is how well can I forget that there is an actor in front of me and just focus on the person...then she did a pretty amazing job. Also, the movie managed to have a kind of happy ending, but in the most bizzare of ways, which I absolutely loved.

11am: decide I am definately not watching the superbowl tonight

12am: reiterate to myself that i am not watching the superbowl

1pm: decide if I were to watch the superbowl, I would cheer on pittsburgh since it is a city more in need the help.

5pm: start thinking about how the commercials are supposed to be good.

5:15: what if there is another bearing of breast, cannot miss pop cultural phenomenon.

5:30: wonder what time the Superbowl starts, 8pm, 9pm?

5:50: oh shit, ten minutes.

6:00: convince Bukola to watch with me.

6:34: decide that I will cheer on Seattle since their uniforms are prettier.

6:53: ooh. that Pittsburgh guy has frizzy hair just like me. I am told he is a safety by one of the commentators. He is a missle, that is what he is.

6:55. Yay touchdown. Oh, un-yay. Man, I really wish the Eagles were in this game. Green is so much prettier in turquoise. On the latest Project Runway, Michael Kors said that Green is the new black. But he might have been being sarcastic, I could not tell.

6:58: Yay, field goal. I feel like the Phily kicker is really good. so I have always had a special place in my heart for kickers. I could be wrong.

7:05: ok, first funny commercial, the diet pepsi one where they use diet coke as the stunt double.

7:07: so the seattle player is running and all his teammates are blocking the people who are racing toward him. Man, I just figured it out. As a blocker, that is what you are supposed to do. Go after the people going after the runner. Man, if only I had known while playing SLAP football. I would have been so much better.

7:17: Note to Monster.com, chimps are hot inherently funny, you have to do something funny with them. well, I guess unless everyone watching the commercial is really drunk...

7:20: interceptions are my favorite part of Football. don't know why.

7:25: How long a team has had control of the ball is my favorite football statistic. still don't know why.

7:27: Kermit, Green is the new black. Michael Kors said so. Although I still have not figured out if he was being sarcastic. Also, fuck Ford.

7:33: I think the ref is named Bill Levy, making him a jew. Well, I am glad there is at least one representative of my people on the field.

7:40: boo touchdown. Man, see this is why I hate sports. I get into it. And then I get all upset.

7:41: Challenge?

7:41:30: hot overstock lady. Come on, that was not funny.

7:42: It is Bill Levy hands. I trust him.

7:43: A useful statistic. Bill Levy is the least likely to overturn something on the field

7:43: Pittsburgh Touchdown. I hate sports.

7:54: ok, so this is what i do not get. Why are the reporters from the field women? Do they think the coaches and players will be nicer to women? But shouldn't the women be hot them? I am scratching my head. (see that was funny, because the commentators kept using the phrase I am scratching my head to explain how they did not understand the Seattle strategy of not taking an extra play before kicking and I used it here)(yes, explaining jokes is still funny).

8:07: I need a pop culture moment right now to make watching the Superbowl worth it. Come on, someone take your pants off.

8:11: Mick Jagger is wearing tight black pants with black sneakers in front of millions of people. Why isn't that stylish when I wear it?

8:27: Wait, is John Madden of the tv commentary the John Madden of the video game? I would have thought he was less corny.

8:32: Bukola spilled orange juice, I was eating rice krispie treats and suddenly there is another touchdown. See, I always manage to miss the best parts even when I am trying not to.

8:33: Bukola thinks all my typing is law school homework. I would tell her the truth but I am afraid she will make fun of me.

8:41: When I took tennis lessons as a kid I was taught that it was bad manners to cheer for unforced errors. You only cheer for winners. Those Pittsburgh players who were cheering on the missed field goals should have known that.

8:52: Fuck yeah. I love interceptions. And sports.

8:54: Yay! touchdown. Jeremy Stevens is a lovely name.

8:55: The Jackasses twist that monster.com did was sort of funny.

9:04: John mdden just said "In the mold of lost and desperate houswives, grey's anatomy. Grey's anatomy, it is just a great show." He has clearly never seen the show in his life and knows nothing about tv. Man, I might have thought he was cool.

9:17: At first I did not understand why ABC would put on such a woman's show after the superbowl. But now I think it is brilliant. ABC knows it will get the men to watch the superbowl regardless, by having Grey's anatomy post-superbowl it guarantees women will watch the whole thing. I mean a good 20% of the reason I am watching this thing is because I figured I had to turn on the second half anyway to make sure that I did not miss Grey's anatomy.

9:27: sigh, touchdown.

9:40: I am sick of this. I just want the game to end and Grey's anatomy to start.

9:58: This is the time to make super-magical plays, Seattle. But instead they just keep throwing it away.

10:02: I am never cheering for another team again.

10:13: Hey, these are really sweet speeches.

I know the whole point of this blog is that when the oscars nominations come out, I would have strong opinions on it. And here the nominations have been out for days and I have not said a word. I am sure you are very disappointed. Sadly, I have very little to say. Except that um...I am disappointed that Munich was nominated. My opinion of it was mediocre movie, great acting. But apparently the academy thinks "eh" on the acting, but yay on the movie.

I just feel that both History of Violence and the Squid and the Whale were better movies.

History of Violence was just tighter. There were no unnecessary scenes. Nothing felt like it dragged on too long. As opposed to Munich, where i felt like the entire end where he is all paranoid just went on and on. And as a thriller, History of Violence was just more exciting. I was genuinely unsure about exactly what I thought of Tom and if he was a good or bad guy the entire movie, which made it really exciting. Munich, it was obvious they would just kill the folks.

As for the Squid and the Whale, I think it might have been my favorite film of the year (even though I have a bunch more to see). After seeing it, I just wanted to cry and cry about how sad life is. I really felt very little connection to anything in Munich as hard as it was trying.

They killed Johnny! The OC, I mean. I seriously do not understand that show. Why can't they keep any secondary characters on that show? It is like every character hooks up with one of them and then when they are done, they are simply disposed off by leaving town or being killed off. Why couldn't they just keep some of these characters around and make us care about them? I mean can you imagine if Luke was still on the show? He could have hooked up with Anna or Lindsay or even the Lesbian Marissa hooked up with whose name i forgot. Or why did Johnny have to die? Couldn't he just have gotten together with like Taylor? That would have been hilarious. Part of the fun of actual soaps, is that anyone will date any other character, regardless of past history (murder, rape, possible incest). If the OC was above soaps i would understand focusing on a few characters, but um...it isn't.

Also, plenty of other shows manage to maintain secondary characters that care about. The prime example is of-course Gilmore Girls. Not every character is in every episode, but they pop up, get storylines, it is awesome. I mean is every actor who makes it on the OC such a diva that they would be really upset if they were not in every episode?